Posts Tagged ‘power-of-now’

Wow, even WordPress’ Dashboard is different now that I’m back attempting to blog…

I am eating Trader Joe’s Thai Chili almonds over a 9 oz glass of Chardonnay at the Las Vegas Airport.  Truth.  So to speak 😉  It’s a far cry from where I was months ago when blogging about being an integrative law student was one of the lifelines I had holding me in check as I anxiously completed and then emerged from the nightmarish cocoon of law school.

The short story?  Ha.  I’ll try.

Screenshot 2015-03-16 03.17.44

It started last spring when I began meditating on my intentions and actively began envisioning how I could manage to make a decent living/improve my circumstances financially (and this definitely falls under the umbrella of “self-care” by the way).  I kept asking myself, almost in a chant, almost like a mantra: How am I going to advocate for policies I believe in AND support myself economically?  A quarter of a million dollars in educational debt I was (and am, thank you).  But beyond the debt, what kind of opportunity was I working on manifesting for myself?  What would be the texture of the “work” I would do in the world?  My goal has always been and continues to be service, making the world a better place — more specifically, helping to facilitate healing in the world, not war, not divisiveness, not convenience or expediency over thoughtfulness and integrity and cogency — not without connection between what feels to me, and to others, like what’s REAL for people and what’s IMAGINED TO BE REALITY for policy makers.  Hmm…  What does all of that mean?  And how does one even purport to hope to “manifest” such a proposition?

Well, I’m not great at telling stories in a linear fashion.  And although our lives creep by in years, which is a chronological measure of life lived, I’m not sure the actual telling of our life stories comport with this version of “reality”.  With that said (yes, you lawyers out there, consider this a disclaimer of sorts), I’d like to make this post the first in what will probably become sort of a collage depicting from various angles of time, experience and emotion what my journey since finishing law school has been and what I am projecting for it into the future…  This has basically been how a lot of HolisticToolKit.com has chronicled my path, but moving forward, I just thought I’d clarify that yes, this is my story.  And yet, no, it is probably not easy to follow.  LOL.  Rather, it’s something I guess I’d like to invite you, my dear reader, into.  That perhaps, is actually the purpose of this post.

I invite you to join me as I plunge into even deeper waters of finding out how law and an holistic mind, body and spirit can find not just overlap but a place of belonging in the world of social justice, in the world of corporate finance, and part and parcel for me, is how this occurs in the legal cannabis space…  That is where my journey has brought me and my triumphs, bitter failures and intimate gleanings from it will be what I write about for the next several years.

If you are down to share this journey with me in any way — by reading random blog posts, sharing them, commenting on them, seeing my posts on social media & offering a little smile even if all you dip into the waters of this crazy world of HolisticToolKit.com is a toenail — it is all good.  In the words of teachers and friends and mentors and collaborators I have come to love deeply, these sentences and paragraphs are being constructed out of the energy of solidarity, affection and a fierceness focused on facilitating critical reflection, compassionate acceptance, radical honesty, vulnerability as it bleeds into strength and, always, more love.

Namaste and more about the cannabis industry itself next time.

One of the things we explored at Omega’s holistic divorce workshop was the impact of our emotional intensity on decision-making.

It’s interesting, right?  The stereotype of a woman possessed by her emotions is that she’s hysterical, overcome by her feelings to the extent that all she can do is cry and scream and make waves.  What we practiced this weekend is maintaining touch with those feelings, AND being calm and serene so that we can begin to ride those emotions — surf those waves — rather than create more and more of them without any prospect of also feeling in control.

What does it mean to be in control?  That’s a lot of what this weekend was about figuring out.  Does it mean I have control over my partner?  Over our joint finances?  Over what the future holds for my children?  I’m not sure, but it seems like the answer is yes as well as no.  And here’s why —

IMG_0083We have control over our feelings in the moment, or we have the capacity to feel in control over our feelings in the moment.  Sorry if this sounds like a tautology, but in essence it is!  Our feelings start with generating a feeling of not being hurt, and then we can address the ways that others’ behavior may be impacting us.  For example, thanks to the participants in this workshop, we can imagine what it would feel like to be a woman who’s built her own business, or directly supported the efforts of her partner for decades, and then in one fell swoop, approach a precipice where, through legal channels, half or even more may now be washed away.  Suddenly what we’ve worked so hard for, or thought we were working hard for, is about to be lost.  Suddenly, the security we thought we were leaving for our children is in jeopardy.  And suddenly, the emotional safety we thought we had with another person has turned to dust.  So two questions: where and how does money fit into this (i.e. the sense of financial ‘security’), and how do our emotions play into the belief that what we are experiencing is limited to a condition of loss? In other words, what in this situation are we really losing?  Is it money?  Or is it a sense of power?  Moreover, at this point, isn’t leveraging our emotional intensity in a way that promotes an internal sense of security all the more important at this juncture of our lives?

Our lead facilitator, J. Kim Wright (http://jkimwright.com), offered a very simple graph for us to use as a guide and reminder of this.  In essence, our emotional intelligence is what enables us to know when we are feeling mistreated.  It is an essential aspect of our perceptive faculties and is an inherently powerful tool for understanding our needs.  But when the radar goes off and tells us something is wrong, we benefit from stopping to listen to that voice rather than go off the deep end by reacting outwardly to whatever appears in our agitated state to be responsible for our distress.  When we are at our highest intensity of feeling, it may have come from an accurate perception of trouble or injustice, but especially as women, we often allow ourselves to fly off the handle and respond from that place instead of using the information we were given in a moment of emotional intensity to gather our wits, step back, and respond strategically.

In general, the importance of using our emotional intelligence to bolster our capacity for power can’t be overstated.  And in the context of divorce, it’s crucial.  The exciting thing about this workshop is that it was a lawyer guiding participants through this idea.  And outside the confines of this workshop, this approach to considering and practicing law would have a lawyer facilitating conversations about this with her client.  That means a legal consultation would revolve around helping clients to be grounded, essentially, in their spiritual power before they labor to produce outcomes on paper.  It’s about taking responsibility for our feelings so that we can exercise control in a way that is balanced, and in line with the realities that others perceive in addition to the fear and pain we so easily attach to when the threat of loss feels like it’s about to overtake us.  It’s about thinking holistically.

From Jacqueline, a rising 2L at NYU School of Law – see below & visit her at http://www.legallyunconventional.com…  1528704_10151839384270872_567966168_n

I have spent the last two days trying to decipher the lingo required to effectively comparison shop a web hosting service for my blog.  This has definitely been the most stressful part of the project so far, even as I am in the midst of completing the law school writing competition.  I have hope though, as I’ve finally decided to follow what should be the guiding principle to my entire life: Don’t let the perfect get in the way of the good.

 My very good friend Michael told me this during a particularly challenging time in college where after a relationship-induced mental breakdown I managed to have six term papers pile up from the previous spring semester.  I had spent the entire summer feverishly researching, keeping my hands and mind busy grabbing new books, expanding the reach of knowledge I needed to consume before I could start writing.  It took Michael literally taking the books out of my hands and putting a piece of paper and pencil in front of me, reminding me again that it doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to get done, and giving me an ultimatum that we weren’t leaving the library until I wrote an outline that I finally became sane again.  I was saved and that rescue occurred through a process of letting go.

For those of us faced with the innate need to consume and comprehend all possible options before taking the next step, this can be very hard to do.  As my mother says, ‘all this technology was supposed to make our lives easier but in reality it has made life so much more difficult’.  I have decided to heed her warning and not let my life, or at least my website, be ruled by the terror of nearly infinite choices.

I may not have researched every single web hosting service out there, but I have read enough articles to understand the main features I should be looking out for.  I’ve decided to use the speed and quality of feedback and communication, from the companies I reach out to, to make my final choice. After three days of research, I’ve chosen one, whether or not it is ‘the one’, I’m actually on my way to setting up my website — which is a lot further than where I was when this week started. So join me in following the mantra of the season and “Let it Go”.