Posts Tagged ‘wholeness’

Wow, even WordPress’ Dashboard is different now that I’m back attempting to blog…

I am eating Trader Joe’s Thai Chili almonds over a 9 oz glass of Chardonnay at the Las Vegas Airport.  Truth.  So to speak 😉  It’s a far cry from where I was months ago when blogging about being an integrative law student was one of the lifelines I had holding me in check as I anxiously completed and then emerged from the nightmarish cocoon of law school.

The short story?  Ha.  I’ll try.

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It started last spring when I began meditating on my intentions and actively began envisioning how I could manage to make a decent living/improve my circumstances financially (and this definitely falls under the umbrella of “self-care” by the way).  I kept asking myself, almost in a chant, almost like a mantra: How am I going to advocate for policies I believe in AND support myself economically?  A quarter of a million dollars in educational debt I was (and am, thank you).  But beyond the debt, what kind of opportunity was I working on manifesting for myself?  What would be the texture of the “work” I would do in the world?  My goal has always been and continues to be service, making the world a better place — more specifically, helping to facilitate healing in the world, not war, not divisiveness, not convenience or expediency over thoughtfulness and integrity and cogency — not without connection between what feels to me, and to others, like what’s REAL for people and what’s IMAGINED TO BE REALITY for policy makers.  Hmm…  What does all of that mean?  And how does one even purport to hope to “manifest” such a proposition?

Well, I’m not great at telling stories in a linear fashion.  And although our lives creep by in years, which is a chronological measure of life lived, I’m not sure the actual telling of our life stories comport with this version of “reality”.  With that said (yes, you lawyers out there, consider this a disclaimer of sorts), I’d like to make this post the first in what will probably become sort of a collage depicting from various angles of time, experience and emotion what my journey since finishing law school has been and what I am projecting for it into the future…  This has basically been how a lot of HolisticToolKit.com has chronicled my path, but moving forward, I just thought I’d clarify that yes, this is my story.  And yet, no, it is probably not easy to follow.  LOL.  Rather, it’s something I guess I’d like to invite you, my dear reader, into.  That perhaps, is actually the purpose of this post.

I invite you to join me as I plunge into even deeper waters of finding out how law and an holistic mind, body and spirit can find not just overlap but a place of belonging in the world of social justice, in the world of corporate finance, and part and parcel for me, is how this occurs in the legal cannabis space…  That is where my journey has brought me and my triumphs, bitter failures and intimate gleanings from it will be what I write about for the next several years.

If you are down to share this journey with me in any way — by reading random blog posts, sharing them, commenting on them, seeing my posts on social media & offering a little smile even if all you dip into the waters of this crazy world of HolisticToolKit.com is a toenail — it is all good.  In the words of teachers and friends and mentors and collaborators I have come to love deeply, these sentences and paragraphs are being constructed out of the energy of solidarity, affection and a fierceness focused on facilitating critical reflection, compassionate acceptance, radical honesty, vulnerability as it bleeds into strength and, always, more love.

Namaste and more about the cannabis industry itself next time.

My interview with Dean of Elon University School of Law, Luke Bierman, from Elon’s Second Symposium on Experiential Learning in Legal Ed…

Earlier today I wrote about how being on Spring Break helped me to realize I am sick.  All day I’ve spent accepting that I am sick, that I am going to the doctor on Wednesday morning and it is okay that I am not feeling my best.

This afternoon, following a cathartic chat with my boyfriend about our respective futures, I abandoned my plan to work out at the gym and instead took Madame (my rescue pitt) to the woods for a run.  Not expecting much from myself, I started out and was elated to find surprisingly little stiffness in my legs and hips, and very little trouble with my breath despite having a mild cough that’s persisted for days.

8 miles later I realized that I am not only sick, I am relaxed.  It is a confusing way to feel sometimes! But despite feeling broken, maybe even because of it, I let go of the pressure I normally put on myself to perform & let my body feel how it needed to.  I didn’t try to force it or push against myself.  I opened to the idea of rest, to the concept that whatever I could do was enough, and I surprised myself  🙂

Cheers — to brokenness allowing us to sometimes anyway feel whole…  And cheers to Madame!

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“as architect of choosing…
choose. to. live.
awakened. entirely. wholly.

wildly powerful,
deeply masterful,
authentically creative,
thriving.
this is not a hoped-for possible self.
[reminder: this is an immutable Law of your being]

needing not to learn the skill of being whole,
the antidote is to unlearn the habit of living incompletely

here’s the practice:

‘know thyself‘—its about spirit
righteousness is underrated
elevate connection with the changeless essence
seek similitude with the will of Source and will of self

‘choose thyself’—its about substance
sacred. sagacious. spacious.
in thought, word and deed—
intend to: honor virtue. innovate enthusiastically. master integrity.

‘become who you are’—its about style
a human, being an entrepreneur of life experiences
a human, being a purveyor of preferences
being-well with the known experience of soul, in service

your relationship with insecurities, contradictions, & failures?
obstacles or…invitations to grow?
[mindset forms manifestation]
emotions are messengers are gifts
data for discernment: dare to deconstruct them your fears

a belief renovation: fear.less.
& aspire towards ascendance, anyway
support your shine
lean into the Light

be.come.

incandescent

as architect of choosing, I choose…
to disrupt the energy of the status quo,
to eclipse the realms of ordinary,
& to live–a life-well lived.
w/ spirit, substance & style.”
― LaShaun Middlebrooks Collier